I have this feeling lately that I am an eyeball, and I don't know what will happen when I open.

I realized this:

In 7th grade, I tried to do a research paper (for science class) on teleportation. I tried and tried and when I realized I couldn't find any research to support my assertion that teleportation is something one can study for a science research paper, I believe I copied my friend's research (and perhaps her paper...) on "the eye."

Suddenly,

this makes total sense.

Oh Universe, the messages I keep sending myself make me laugh and cry. How did this all get set up before birth? How do we lay these moments out before ourselves, and when we realize our own handiwork, how do we not just fall over laughing and crying?

The other night,

Chris led me to an experience. And the whole time, he spoke words he doesn't remember saying. And the whole time I said, of course he's leading you here, and his face looked like I drew it (if I knew how to draw) as perfect love.

And everything around me was just as I would've chosen--because I did.

The experience itself is still a mystery. I still do not understand this place I have been led to now twice. But I'm realizing more and more that I made this bed before I was even created to sleep in it.

What does one make of that?

Love, strength, and open eyes,
Beck